What makes us who we are?
So I was testing out the WML front end to FeedOnFeeds when in the airport yesterday on the way back, and read this post. One of the things I did was that when there are links within a post, I transform them so that I can follow them using Google’s WML proxy. So I was there, in the airport, using a little piece of technology in my hand and a larger piece of technology that I’ve never seen, but put lots of data on, to read this article about a human cyborg.
At first I thought “this is reason why I should implement the blog this link from this cellphone” functionality that I alude to. But then I thought more and created a grand plan whereby I would eventually upgrade to WordPress 1.0 so that I could have hierarchical categories, and I would not only have a linkblog category, but there would be subcategories for those categories that I haven’t used recently but imagine I would, such as nanotech and stuff like that. I was going to leave a voice memo for myself about it on my phone, but I couldn’t describe it all in the little amount of memory left on my phone for me to leave a voice memo. So I had to keep it in my head.
Then when I read Digital Skunk talk about some of what BrainFloss has been talking about. And I realized something.
The cyborg dude wants to see life on his terms - he’s contructed technological apparatus to, in affect, apply spam filtering to ordinary life, to say the least. So do I - I’ve constructed mental apparatus to facilitate that. I like my way better, because I’m not about imagining that technological arms races benefit anyone other than the technology vendor.
But this just feeds my sense of isolationism.
My mental aparatus - the same thing that makes me feel like I’m free from (or perhaps even “above” - but that touches upon some of the arrogance that I’ve been suspecting of myself - by “above”, I mean, to believe I understand it enough to be able to control it in otherwise unimagined ways…) “the system“, is the same thing that keeps me apart from other people - it makes me feel alone. And now that I question the very motivations that I had for setting up that aparatus - because I’m just plain tired of feeling like an outsider - I find the temptation to conform even greater than ever. For the first time, it is even ideologically appealing.
To know all the ways the system impacts you requires a deep awareness of your subconcious - both the good and the bad - and when you probe enough, you destroy all mystery.
I don’t understand spontaneity - for it is the temporal representation of mystery. I can’t remember ever laughing at myself. There are all sorts of things about what it means to be human that I just plain don’t get anymore - because the only way to be free of “the system” is to be free of those things that give the system influence over us - namely, subliminal messages - and also to be free of those things that draw us to the system - namely, the need for a sense of security and the natural tendency to allow attachments to form as a result.
Go fight the system if you want. But realize it is within you. And don’t be surprised if you don’t like yourself when you’ve finally managed to remove it from yourself. I can’t say I totally like myself now - and I’m the closest to having removed the system from me and me (or at least my mind) from the system that I know of.
Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.
The baby is mainly water!
A woman’s work is never done.
Dust never stops settling on the furniture in a house that is too big!
The trick, I suspect, to properly not having the issues with the system is not to know the system and thus to fight it - but to deny that paradigm. The subliminal messages that the system would inflict upon you? Don’t even recognize them - allow them to slide off like water rolls down a windshield in the rain. How to get to such a state? I thought I was heading there - but I think I was barking up the wrong tree. I’d like to get back on track.
To learn about who we are - and thus what we create - and thus how we create the blogosphere (and what we might create it into) - requires that we study “the onion” (an analogy for the layers of stuff we accumulate from society). To get to that state whereby the system is powerless over us because it does not become part of us either by how we act or react - requires that we actually peel the onion - and we waste time when we take each peeling and put it under the microscope and study it so much.
I don’t know how much of this is going into the WeAreBlog paper. But it is something that I needed to touch upon before I felt I could properly deal with what I was trying to deal with - namely, given human nature, try to extrapolate what the blogosphere and it’s relation to human consciousness will be when that relationship has reached a clearly steady state.
As to the negative impacts of fighting the system, I have two things to say. On a simplistic level the answer is to find other people who share your worldview, who know the ‘truth’, fight the ’system’ and find happiness outside the system. This way of life does exist, though in order to achieve it, it may require sacrificing some of the comforts afforded by the system.
Secondly, it is possible to come to the conclusion that it is easier not to fight. That being right isn’t important if it means a life of isolation and unhappiness. The problem is that you really can’t turn back the clock. You already know the truth and thus can not become like someone who blindly follows the lie. It is my belief that we are accountable for the answers to questions we know to ask, whether we ask them or not. At the very least, we are accountable to ourselves. In this way, it is not enought to try and stop asking questions and accept the systems influence over you. If you were the type of person that figured it out in the first place, than you are NOT the type of person that will be able to ignore the truth. You will not be able to ignore that you were right and have accepted the wrong point of view. Though I don’t believe I have achieved contentment in my knowledge of the truth, I have to believe it is out there. My belief is that my lack of contentment stems not from my ability to see the truth, but from my ability to accept and modify my life based on that truth. While I know what is right, I continue to live and gain from the lie. It will take a break from the system to be happy in the knowledge that you are right and the system is wrong. Here’s the good news. Even though it appears it is easier to give in and accept the system, most of the people, even those completely ignorant of the system, are not happy. So in all reality, solice does not lie down that road.
Fight the power, keep the faith, and decide to accept your failures as a signal to try harder.