| person |
conversation text |
| friend |
Dude, you should have made a move! |
| me |
Uh, it was, like, a first date - |
| friend |
Doesn’t matter. She was smiling, there were good vibes, lingering before she got out of the car, - you should have at least hugged her or something! |
| me |
My nose was running worse than it had in a while, she had studying to do, and I don’t want to take it too fast. |
| friend |
It isn’t like the two of you are going to be in the same area forever you know. |
| me |
Well, I was also a little self-conscious as I was planning on taking a shower before-hand but couldn’t because my suite-mate was in the bathroom, and I had about an hour less because she called me early. |
| friend |
So you were afraid you smelled? |
| me |
Yes, and I suppose because of that I was a little afraid of getting in close physical proximity. |
| friend |
She probably didn’t notice - I mean, it was less than 24 hours ago that you last showered. |
| me |
Well maybe, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t self-conscious anyway. |
| friend |
You gotta get over this. |
| me |
Well, next time I’ll plan to be ready more than two hours before-hand (one in case the suite-mate is in the bathroom, and another in case she calls early). |
| friend |
I don’t think planning will solve your woes. |
| me |
What woes? You’re the one complaining about the fact that I didn’t make a move. |
| friend |
What, aren’t you also a little disappointed you didn’t make a move? |
| me |
Well maybe, but it’s just a first date and we’re still learning to be comfortable around each other. |
| friend |
No man, she’s comfortable around you - she said as much - she said she’s really shy around people she doesn’t know. So she feels like she knows you. |
| me |
Ok, ok, maybe I should have made a move. But to what end? It isn’t like she really wants a “wham bam thank you ma’am” sort of time. |
| friend |
Well, maybe not, but you know there’s a certain pleasantness in physical contact with a member of the opposite sex. |
| me |
Well yes, but I hate to have that be the sole reason why I’m making a move. |
| friend |
What other reason would you make a move? |
| me |
Physical intimacy should be an expression of emotional intimacy. |
| friend |
And you don’t feel like you’re becoming emotionally intimate with her? Look at some of the stuff you talked about, for goodness sake! |
| me |
Well, maybe I do, but it was just a first date, and as charming as it was and compatible as we seemed to be, the setting wasn’t exactly romantic. |
| friend |
Everyone says it is a beautiful campus. |
| me |
But it was kind of cold. |
| friend |
You shouldn’t let that get in the way of things. |
| me |
Even she thought it was kind of cold. |
| friend |
Well, I suppose that does kind of suggest romance would only be achieved indoors. |
| me |
And the indoors environments weren’t exactly romantic ones. |
| friend |
Well, there was your car - and she was surprised at how clean it was - and we know if it was too dirty, there are certain things no female would want to do in a car. |
| me |
Look, I know that what you have in mind, we wouldn’t have gotten to in the car anyway. |
| friend |
But you could have began to get there - like a hug - or maybe even some groping…. |
| me |
Hey, ok, she’s attractive, and yeah, I wouldn’t mind doing some of that, but I really don’t want to hurry things - she seems like a nice girl - and I (and I imagine she) get this sort of icky feeling if things go too fast, even if I like the girl - it is like I’m not respecting personal boundaries or something. |
| friend |
Whatever. I still say you should have made a move. |
| me |
Shut up. |
| friend |
No wait, hear me out. I mean, she said she’s afraid of coming across as too aggressive. |
| me |
Well yes, but she wasn’t talking in reference to me. |
| friend |
But maybe she meant that in general. |
| me |
She said not to read too much into what she said. |
| friend |
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do so anyway. |
| me |
I’ll let her be the judge of that. |
| friend |
It is her saying you need to be the aggressive one. |
| me |
We’ll see. |